- The Town Crier
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- #169
#169
Sunday, May 18th
#168
Sunday, May 18th
Crier Quotes
“You ever been so high you sit down at the movies and reach for your seatbelt?”
- Seth Rogen
Trending News
Dick’s Sporting Goods agreed to buy Foot Locker for $2.4 billion — The deal is being described as the biggest thing to happen to Dicks and feet since OnlyFans.
A Chinese tech company is reportedly exploring whether it’s possible to use AI to translate animal sounds into human language. So in the future, you won’t be hearing tings, the cat actually said “I will kill you.”
An Amazon delivery driver was fired after being caught on a Ring camera defecating on a porch. That story again, Amazon delivery driver fired for dropping off the wrong package.
Qatar Airways signed a deal with Boeing to buy up to 210 planes. In a joint statement, both Qatar Airways and Boeing said they hope the deal doesn’t blow up in their faces.
Feature
Man Buys Second Gun to Protect Family From First Gun
Keith Campbell is your typical American father.
He relishes the little things in life: grilling on a Saturday afternoon, the smell of a freshly mowed lawn, sole control over the TV remote after dinner, when a waitress laughs at his jokes to let him know he’s “still got it.” But above all, Campbell loves his family, and he will do whatever it takes to keep them safe from harm.
Which makes it no surprise that on Tuesday afternoon, eyewitnesses reported seeing Campbell at the counter of Smokin’ Pythons Guns & Pawn purchasing an AR-15 in an effort to protect his loved ones from the Glock 19 currently in the house.
Campbell is not alone. Researchers at the School of Applied Sciences at the University of Mississippi note a recent survey shows a growing trend among American gun owners who say they worry about their family’s safety within their own home, with one in three owners citing the second gun purchase as a failsafe against the first.
“The numbers speak for themselves,” said Professor of Public Health Lawrence Foley, Ph.D., “The only thing that’ll stop a gun in your home is another gun in your home. Otherwise, you’re completely helpless against the first.”
Research shows home safety anxiety among gun owners in recent years is high, but just knowing they have a second gun nearby in case anything happens as a result of them having their first gun puts their minds at ease.
“People who live in a home with a gun are at greater risk of dying at the hands of that gun,” said Campbell as he weighed his need for armor piercing rounds. “Well, shit, you think I’m just going to sit back and let that gun threaten my babies. Not on my watch.”
As this issue goes to print, sources say a visibly sweaty Campbell made a U-turn just half a mile after leaving the store as it dawned on him that he didn’t have anything at home to protect his family from his second gun.
In partnership with Ground News
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Readers from all political stripes, from Munich to Manhattan, can trust Ground News to stay informed and broaden their worldview.
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