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#177
Sunday, July 20th

#177
Sunday, July 20th
Crier Quotes
On the back of a banana boat in the Caribbean.
- Ryan Seacrest on his first kiss
Trending News
Philadelphia Cream Cheese is teaming up with the premium olive purveyor, Divina, to launch a new product for martini lovers: Philly-tini Olives. The garnish is the perfect topper for the classic Philadelphia martini — which is 1 part gasoline 2 parts sewer water.
New research suggests neanderthals may have had family recipes. The team says the finding is the best indication yet that neanderthals may have heard the phase “you’re doing it wrong” from their mother in law.
A Pittsburgh nudist group recently held its annual “Balls Out” bowling event. The event went off without a hitch except for a few guys who had to be reminded that they’re finger holes.
President Trump has released a new line of fragrances to his personal line of merchandise. The fragrance, “Victory 45-47,” was reportedly tailored to the president’s taste by blending the many sophisticated notes of what he finds the most attractive. In other words — McRib
Italian candy giant Ferrero is acquiring American cereal maker Kellogg for $3.1 billion. The merger means several Kellogg cereals will undergo rebranding for a more Italian-American feel. Including changing Snap, Crackle, and Pop to Sal, Carlo, and Paulie
Researchers in Colorado have discovered evidence of one of the largest dinosaur mating "dance arenas.” Or as it’s known in the dinosaur community — the bone zone.
Feature
Eyebrow Threading Friction Responsible for Mall Fire

Eight stores including a Brookstone, Orange Julius, and Claire’s were destroyed at the Eastview Mall Thursday afternoon, consumed by a fast-spreading, four-alarm fire which investigators say originated from the friction produced during an eyebrow threading. Morris County fire crews responded to the blaze around 2:15pm when eyewitnesses say they saw thick plumes of dark smoke billowing from the Arch Envy on the east side walkway.
“It took me a while to realize what was going on,” said 17-year-old Rebecca Myers, who was receiving the threading, “the lady had this weird look on her face and I could smell something burning, which is honestly not uncommon. But usually the sweat dripping off her forehead puts anything out before it can really get going.”
Investigators believe the flames, shortly after igniting, were aided by the neighboring Fan Stand's oxygen supply, enabling them to jump to a nearby Auntie Anne’s kiosk. There, they picked up even more fuel from a vat of cooking oil. The ensuing explosion sent flaming pretzel nuggets raining down like arrows of a Mongol midnight raid. The inferno then raged for nearly 13 hours before fire crews were able to bring it under control early Friday morning, luckily containing it before reaching the Abercrombie & Fitch. Had it, Morris County Fire Chief Michael Quinn says the 90% body spray atmosphere would make Chernobyl look like Disneyland.
Chief Quinn urged mall goers to thread responsibly. “We got lucky today,” said Quinn, “but we must be vigilant and never forget, an eyebrow for an eyebrow leaves everyone burned.”
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