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#143
Crier Quotes
“58 years in a row. This baby doesn’t miss.”
- Bill Clinton, on being a gynecologist for Halloween.
Trending News
In a new piece for the New York Times, political strategist “The Ragin’ Cajun” James Carville predicted Kamala Harris will win the election. As always, Carville made his prediction by “feeding a one-eyed catfish named Ezekiel a tabasco cracker and seeing if he jumps into the red or blue pot of gumbo.”
Following online backlash from former President Trump’s day working at McDonalds, the fast food chain has said that it is not a political brand and isn’t endorsing a candidate. That said, a spokesperson for McDonald’s asserted the company has always been and will remain Anti-Artery.
It’s not too late to figure out what to be for Halloween with this new costume generator website. Although, I tried it, and I’m not sure how to pull off “Slutty Ethnic Minorities in Lithuania.”
Feature
Majority of Americans Can’t Differentiate Between Can of Science Diet Wet Dog Food and Old El Paso Refried Beans
An unexpected finding is raising eyebrows as researchers at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign have confirmed through blind taste tests that the majority of Americans are unable to distinguish between Science Diet Wet Dog Food and Old El Paso Refried Beans.
The study, which involved a panel of 87500 blindfolded participants, found that testers could only correctly identify which product was which approximately 52% of the time – barely better than random chance. Dr. Sarah Martinez, the lead researcher, noted that this percentage falls within the statistical margin of error.
Sample A
"What makes this finding particularly interesting is not just the similarity in taste, but also in texture and aroma profiles," explained Dr. Martinez. "Both products share similar protein content and processing methods, which likely contributes to their remarkable similarity. Whether served hot or cold, in a burrito or on a cracker, the answer is clear — it’s a toss up."
Sample B
"I'm getting notes of cinnamon, a hint of dried carp, and, hang on a second, yes, loganberries," asserted study participant, pet owner, and NYT food critic James Wilson. "See, what most don't understand about tasting is that you need to coat the entire palate. Really swish it around, if you will, from tongue to gum. Of course, while certain ethereal qualities of the flavors may escape the layman, an expert such as myself can savor each idiosyncrasy" — it was later revealed that he had correctly deciphered just 3 out of 8 samples. "I'm not sure how to feel about this," said Wilson. "Also, can I get a tooth brush?"
Representatives from both Science Diet and Old El Paso declined to comment on the study's findings. The complete study will publish in next month’s issue of Food? Dr. Martinez and her team will continue their research as they look to see if Americans can distinguish between slices of Arby’s roast beef and shavings off an old boot.
Subscriber PollWhich image sample from the article is the refried beans? |
*Poll results revealed on Wednesday.
Where to Find Hoka Shoes Deals 2024
Finding Hoka shoes on sale can be tricky, so we’ve rounded up the top 8 stores to find the best deals for Hoka!
Miscellaneous
Brought to you by RunDot
46 people were hospitalized with food poisoning in Maryland on Monday after sharing a meal prepared by co-worker. While foul play is not suspected at this time, the man was seen watching co-workers consume the dish while whispering “Yes, yes, that’s right, eat it up. Eat it all up.”
Peloton plans to sell its deluxe stationary bike at Costco this holiday season as it seeks to broaden its customer base. Of course, the Costco bikes are a little different than the original Pelotons. To keep you motivated, the Costco peloton comes with a new headgear that dangles pigs in a blanket in front of you.
A Canadian man has set a Guinness world record for most hot sauce eaten in 3 minutes. The man then immediately began his attempt for a second record — longest time sitting on an ice block.
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