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- #161
#161
Sunday, March 23rd
Crier Quotes
“It’s not my favorite thing to do, but the money is usually pretty good.”
- Raven-Symoné on getting rid of a dead body
Trending News
President Trump announced Boeing has been selected to build the nation’s next fleet of fighter jets. The President said it was between Boeing and Lockheed Martin but in the end Boeing showed them something that really blew their doors off.
Tesla has recalled nearly all its cybertrucks due to reports the roof panels can detach while driving. You know things are bad when not even your car wants to be part of your car.
Robert Ehrlich, the founder of Pirate’s Booty cheese puffs, declared himself winner of the Sea Cliff mayoral election on Long Island despite only receiving 62 votes and losing to the village’s incumbent with 1,064 votes. Political strategists say they’re shocked Ehrlich’s campaign did so poorly, but think it had something to do with his slogan “Will Eat Booty for Mayor.”
For the second time in six years, Forever 21 is preparing to file for bankruptcy. Management says they’ll do whatever it takes to hold on to Forever 21 even if it means putting the business under the knife and relaunching as Facelift 38.
USPS worker stole over $1.6 million in checks and spent them at a gentlemen’s club. Giving a whole new meaning to making a check bounce.
Feature
Nation's Fraternities Raise Awareness for Keg Parties

Fraternity brothers nationwide pooled their resources this weekend, raising awareness for keg parties. “People can go their whole weekend without ever knowing a keg party is happening, and that’s wrong,” said Beta Theta Pi president Brody Cox. “If there’s something, anything, we can do to reach these people, especially if they’re able to bring three chicks with them, then I feel like it’s our responsibility to do so.”
The campaign saw thousands of brothers canvasing their local campus, from dining halls to dormitories, study halls to sports facilities, and common areas to quads, spreading the word that a keg party was happening this weekend with their attendance paramount in the fight against bad vibes.
With the weather now getting nicer and the much-anticipated sundress season right around the corner, awareness for keg parties is more crucial than ever. “Five bucks is all it takes to make a difference in an underclassman’s life.” Said Delta Tau Delta social chair Chad “The Slurpman” Jones from a booth set up outside the main dining hall. Thanks to their tireless efforts, Jones happily reports that, to date, he and his brothers have raised over $12,000 — a war chest Jones says will go a long way in supporting Delta Tau Delta’s mission of increasing direct tap-to-mouth access across campus.
Trevor Humphries, Operations Director for Kegs Across America, anticipates this spring to be the biggest fundraising semester since the Animal House craze of ’78. “A few years ago, keg party awareness was at all-time lows in large part due to COVID, but recent trend analysis shows the good work of fraternity brothers has started to pay off with gains made in fall semester ‘24 completely covering those losses,” Humphries said. “I’m optimistic that with a little elbow grease and a can-do attitude, we can eradicate keg party blindness entirely by 2027.”
As this issue goes to print, Humphries says his organization and the North American Interfraternity Conference had entered into a partnership to fund the development of a new mobile app that sends push notifications whenever a keg is tapped within a five-mile radius, which Humphries claims “could save countless students from the horror of staying in on a Saturday night.”
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