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#148
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Crier Quotes
“It's always upsetting, but ultimately, putting them down is the right thing to do. I mean, you can keep them around, but what kind of life is that?”
- Leonardo DiCaprio on when she turns 25
Trending News
Claiming her second Guinness World Record title, Canadian grandmother of 12 DonnaJean Wilde broke the record for most pushups in one hour by a woman, clocking 1,575 pushups in 60 minutes. Shortly after breaking the record, DonnaJean was announced as Jake Paul’s next fight.
On Thursday, Pantone declared "Mocha Mousse” as its color of the year for 2025 — Pantone described the color as an “evocative soft brown,” you know, like the kind you find in a diaper.
A divorce lawyer recently took to TikTok and identified plumbers, electricians, pilots, and doctors as the professions with statistically the most cheaters. Which makes sense, as all of them have a reputation of screwing you.
A pastor fought off an axe-wielding vandal at an Antioch, California, church on Thanksgiving by using his mixed martial arts training. Before subduing the man, the pastor asked if he was was ready to receive the bodyslam of Christ.
Feature
Study Finds Prenatal Exposure to Funk Linked to Heightened Sense of Rhythm
A team of researchers at the University of California San Francisco Bixby Center for Global Reproductive Health announced the results of an extensive 37-year, $827 million study examining the link between music and fetal development, finding that prenatal exposure to funk markedly heightens a newborn's sense of rhythm.
"Questions have always swirled around the legitimacy of the 'Mozart effect,'" said head researcher Dr. Margrett Watkins-Rice-Jenkins, "but we know little about how prenatal funk affects a newborn's ability to catch the groove — until now."
The groundbreaking study meticulously exposed 782,000 expectant mothers to a carefully curated funk soundscape, featuring iconic artists including Kool & the Gang, Earth, Wind & Fire, Rick James, and Sly & the Family Stone. Participants underwent "funkification" sessions ranging from 16 to 27 hours triweekly, with subjects divided into experimental and control groups. While the experimental group received heaping doses of funkaliciousness, the control group was subjected to ambient Muzak, which researchers described as "the ultimate scientific sacrifice."
One participant, Linda Harrisburg of Oakland, California, says she’s witnessed first hand the remarkable effects. "My son Terrence did the electric slide at my cousin’s wedding before he could walk," Harrisburg reported. "He was 11 months old, wearing a tiny rented tuxedo, and suddenly he's grooving like a miniature James Brown, even counting the band into the next song. He told them he was 'about to do my thing' and called out, 'A-1-2-3-4.' The other guests were stunned. I knew then that those prenatal Parliament-Funkadelic sessions were worth every minute."
Watkins-Rice-Jenkins and her team found that exposure to funk as early as the first trimester produced a newborn 78% more likely to "bust it," 82% better at "breaking it down," and — compared with those unexposed to funk — an astounding 96% more adept at "getting down on it."
In as little as 18 months, the team says a "funkafied" child exhibits the ability to shoulder shimmy, slide-step, and "super freak on that thang" at a fourth-grade level. Equally impressive is the superior stamina these funk-exposed children have compared to their unfunked peers to “boogie-oogie-oogie until they just can't boogie no more."
"Consider this," says Watkins-Rice-Jenkins, "those who've been given the funk are 99% better at shaking both their 'groove thang' and what their 'mama gave 'em.' And I think that speaks for itself."
When it comes to preparing your newborn for strutting their stuff, the research team says answer is clear — give them the funk, the whole funk, and nothing but the funk.
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Miscellaneous
brought to you by Writer
On Friday, Sabrina Carpenter released a celebrity holiday musical speical on Netflix — “Girl, stay in your lane,” said Mariah Carrey.
An ongoing lawsuit could have serious ramifications across the influencer industry, as Amazon content creator Sydney Nicole Gifford, 24, claims fellow creator, Alyssa Sheil, 21, copied “her vibe.” Legal scholars say the case hinges on the judge’s interpretation of the precedent set in Did to! v As if!
On Tuesday, Miller High Life announced its plans to release a brand-new cologne that mixes all the essential scents of a neighborhood dive bar, called Dive Bar-Fume.You can find bottles of the Dive Bar-fume on shelves next to OFF! as its technically female repellant.
Elon Musk and his 4-year-old son X-Æ-12 appeared together on Capitol Hill Thursday — A proud Musk was seen with his son on his shoulders showing him around the capitol, saying, “look what daddy bought!”
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