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Wednesday Wire
3.12.25
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Today is Wednesday, March 12th, and these are the top stories making headlines halfway through the week:
The internet’s latest obsession is Marley the painting penguin. “Enjoy it while it lasts, kid” said a chain smoking Moo Deng.
Starbucks Japan has unveiled a new matcha cherry blossom frappuccino. For anyone who’s tasted matcha’s grassy flavor and thought “this could use more tree.”
A man went viral after smoking a Carolina Reaper, the world’s hottest pepper, out of a bong which caused him to temporarily lose his sight. For his effort, the man has secured a spot in Guinness’ 2025 Big Book of Idiots
A study finds it takes adults an average of 94 hours spent together to turn acquaintances into casual friends, another 164 hours to transition from casual friends to friends, and an additional 100 hours to become good/best friends. Researchers say if you’d like to accelerate the process, add alcohol.
Panera announced its offering a green version of its bread bowl for St. Patrick’s Day. Not to be outdone, Wendy’s announced its offering a whiskey version of its potato.
According to researchers, men who produce more sperm live longer — And in future news, happy 300th birthday to Nick Cannon.
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