In partnership with

Today is Wednesday, October 30th, and these are the top stories making headlines halfway through the week:

• The Quarter Pounder has returned to McDonald’s menus after beef was ruled out in the recent E. Coli outbreak. According to reports, the number of cases has risen to 90 across 13 states. The outbreak has been called “concerning” by McDonalds and “light weight” by Chipotle.

• In more fast food news, a new lawsuit alleges Subway advertises three times more meat on its sandwiches than it delivers. Said Subway’s lawyers, “define meat.”

• President Biden voted early in Delaware after he waited nearly 40 minutes in line to cast his ballot. The President had waited so long that when he finally got to the front of the line Biden asked for a chocolate-vanilla swirl with rainbow jimmies. 

• Mike Jeffries, the former CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch, has been arrested for sex trafficking. Prosecutors accuse Jeffries of using the status of his job to coerce dozens of aspiring male models into having sex with him and his romantic partner. At his arraignment in New York, Jeffries and his associates pleaded “not Diddy.” 

• Irish airline Aer Lingus announced it will start flying direct from Dublin to Nashville starting April, 2025. While the company says it’s direct, it’s more likely to become a connecting flight whose final destination is AA. 

• Tomorrow is Halloween — that yearly reminder that under the right conditions, you’d sleep with a minion. 

• An amateur mathematician has discovered the largest known prime number, with 41 million digits—16 million more than the previous record—earning a $3,000 prize. Following the discovery, the amateur hopes to cement his professional mathematician status by answering the following question: If a train leaves Budapest at 4:17PM on the eve of the winter solstice and heads south southwest at 175km/hr, and a man in a row boat wearing a full suit of armor travels down the Nile at 2.69% of that speed, why can’t you get a date? 

Sunday’s Poll

The results are in. . . 

79/98 (80.61%) chose correctly as Sample A was the refried beans. 

But to the nearly 20% who couldn’t tell the difference, honestly, you’re my heroes. The bit would be nothing without you.

On another note, I’m revamping The Town Crier’s landing page by adding a “Testimonials” section. If you’d like to have your say and possibly get featured on the site, fill out this form.

And now, a word from our sponsor

Looking to elevate your brand with a custom hat?

Don’t make it just any hat. Make it a Branded Bills hat.

Why? They make quality merch (especially hats) that people actually want to wear.

Don’t just take it from us, here is what one of their recent clients has to say:

“I think Branded Bills is memorable because it is more of a lifestyle brand for us. It’s not just employees wearing them to work or technicians wearing them out in the field; they're wearing them to bowling alleys, sporting events, etc, and they’re repping our brand which is exactly what we want.” Rebecca Ferguson, Empire CAT

Want some more? Get $200 off your first order over $1000 with the code NEWSLETTER.

If this is what you want (and we’re guessing you do), hit up Branded Bills.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this week’s issue and want to support future editions, please share it!

If someone shared this issue with you, let’s cut out the middle man and subscribe for free by clicking below.

Want to get in front of 55k+ readers? Fill out this form.

Don’t have a brand you want to promote but still want to contribute to The Town Crier, you can show your support here. Everything helps. Thank you!

Follow on Instagram